Irritated I sit,
Unable to keep still,
cannot focus.
The door barred shut.
I feel it's pure supple surface
untouched until this moment.
Arranging my thoughts strategically
My fingers begin moving
Longing for the release
I go more quickly, more steadily
thoughts lost,
a blurr of words and memories
I go harder until it comes.
The words speak for my explosive emotion.
The page is no longer pure,
words sprawled everywhich way.
My poetry is masturbation.
***
I very much enjoy this poem. I find it very stimulating, much the same way i feel when i am expressing myself in a poem. It is a form of relaxation, concentration. I am very focused on the release, once I have released my frusterations, emotions, etc, on to paper I feel much more at ease. I would also like to thank someone very close to me for allowing me to use his line as inspiration for this poem.(You know who you are!)
5 comments:
This poem is very different from anything the poet has written in the past. The previous poems, as I have stated before, are very deep in genuine emotion and tell the tales of the hardships of life...seemingly placing the narrator at a much older age reflecting back on her younger years.
In contrast to the superb poems on this blog thus far, "My Release" is a step back in which I no have the writer/narrator placed as very juvenile, perhaps even as early twenties or even earlier. I suppose that the influences of
"Masturblog" have worn off on the poet.
But alas, since the poet remains stagnant it is only evolution to which the narrator's need to flourish and change. For to read of the same themes repeatedly would be rather dull.
Therefore, I believe that this is not profound as the rest of your works but is still a 'nice' change.
Sorry if the criticism is too honest, but I feel you have a real talent and it is important to listen to all types of criticism when writing poetry. It is true that poetry is to be personally written for oneself, but when published (as I am glad you have done) it is important to be truthful and emotionally deep to yourself as well as your reader.
Looking forward to the future.
I wasn't sure whether or not i should have posted this poem. The point of this poem was to stimulate senses rather than make a direct emotional connection. Poetry for me can, and does, do both. My intention was to express the more raw, sensational side of poetry. This poem expresses a similar state to that which i am in when i write. Perhaps i have not adequately expressed it. Sorry to disappoint. I look forward to more criticisms as they help me grow!
I almost never comment on blogs, nor would I comment on a poem, or other form of writing
I mean who am I to tell the writer about the brilliance or flaws in their expression?
this comment is more so directed to the other anonymous comment. I think the comment/analysis
on the poem could not have been more off.... you said you liked the earlier poems about hardships
in life, because they gave the impression of an older writer looking back on younger years
based on its deepness and genuine emotion. furthermore that "my release" gave the impression
of a younger writer who caved into an influence of "masturblog" you ended by telling the writer that
it is important to be truthful and emotionally deep to yourself as well as your reader.
I'm in no way an expert on poetry, however I have read and written quite a lot and in my opinion
any fool could write a poem about hardships of life and come out looking deep and genuine..
what this writer has done is express how passionate she is about writing poetry by comparing it
to one of the most raw definitions of the word passion.
I cant imagine a "young writer" (speaking in terms or creative maturity) who could express such an obvious passion for writing.. by comparing how she feels while writing and the (for lack of better word) orgasmic release
felt when she finishes the piece, with the feeling of sexual release.
I highly doubt this was written due to some of some influence from other "masturblogs" i believe her passion is being compared to masturbation because the writer is giving this rush of passion to herself, as apposed to
having a second person contributing to the feelings you get towards the lines of your poem
or the feeling towards a sexual release, i think the writer was simply confessing that when writing she needs a "door barred shut" (solitude to write openly), and that once she starts writing there is a rush of thoughts,
and emotions that once focused on and finalized gives a release... how can that be seen as anything other than being truthful and emotionally deep to oneself as well as the reader.
I guess i just couldn't help but notice that a first glance at the anonymous comment may seem to be that of an intelligent or more "matured reader" but once the almost poetic diction blends into its meaning.. all that can
be seen is perhaps a more juvenile reader, who has not yet aged to the though of a higher meaning in this poem.
and in this case the somewhat flawed brilliance that sums up the feeling felt after almost every poem or lyric
i have ever written, as im sure others can agree.
anyways love the poem and i don't know how change the anonymous
thing as the i guess "sender" of this comment, so my name is Barry Ezekiel, i'm not sure know if that is against some
rule of comments to expose ones name ... but like i said i don't usually make them and i mean if the writer can expose her emotions on almost a daily basis to strangers... the least i can do is add a name to the anonymity.
Well hello there Barry. It is good to see another’s interest in the poetic insights of our Bodhi Tree writer.
However, your insights are both crude and utterly unreasonable. You say that you have written an ample amount of poetry in the past but clearly your intelligence toward a "raw subject" have been lost in your seemingly misspent youth. I am sorry my friend that I did not have the same criticisms toward this piece that you had but that is what makes this writers work so brilliant. The stirring of controversy is what makes this diverse country of Canada so magnificent.
So again my friend, I clearly understood the analogy / metaphor of comparing the release of masturbation to the release of poetry because it was so blatantly obvious. Most readers of poetry delve deeply into further meanings, meanings that are not stagnant at face value. This was the only real criticism I had toward this piece. The writer is capable, and has proven this repeatedly, to be best at writing on a personal / emotional level which I believe, and this again is only my opinion, is really her unique specialty. In fact, for you to say that "any fool could write a poem about hardships of life and come out looking deep and genuine.." is insulting to any serious poet. I guess you were correct in stating that you are "in no way an expert on poetry."
On that conclusion of minimal immaturity, it is plain to see that this piece has created a vast amount of controversy. It is clear to see that some people love it and others prefer the writer's more intelligent pieces.
All in all, a small amount of variety is important to any poet, just as long as the core subjects and emotional rawness remains true to both the writer and the reader.
Thanks for the comments Mr. Ezekiel, I hope you continue to read the other poetry on this page relating to true feelings and perhaps in the future your mind will be changed as I feel the writer deserves, and has asked for, constructive criticism to help with overall growth.
True Lover of Canadian Poetry
P.S. I would be curious to hear what the writer of this controversy feels relating to this newly spawned debate.
I have to side with Barry on this one. This is one of my personal favorites and it seems to be the favorite of many people I am close with, however they may be slightly bias as it may just be that I have chosen friends who match my taste in many htings including poetry. This poem, for me, shows a different side of what it is to be human. We are passionate beings and there are many ways to express that passion. There seem to be a few ways of expressing such passions that all, or most, people share in common and that is a sexual passion. The reason I used sexual passion is because many people can relate, and this type of passion is the same raw passion I use when I am writing. It should, and seems to, connect to the reader on a level which is more than emotional, they should almost feel with their senses what it is that I, as the writer, am going through when I am writing. I agree with 'True Lover...' in that this poem is differen than what I have written in the past and that not every person can write of the hardships of life and adequately connect to the reader. In my observation of verbal criticisms i've recieved there seems to be a divide between which of my poems people seem to like. They either seem to like what i've written on Love and the successes and failures associated with it, or they seem to like my poems on various other topics, not directly relating to love. Examples such as 'my release', 'Questionable & Unquestionable' 'If i were a bird' and others, come to mind. They deal with another side of humanity that perhaps they relate to better than the poems on love, because, alas, not everyone has experienced the utter beauty, and pure emptiness that can be experienced when in love. Keep the comments coming, as a Philosopher I enjoy a good debate, they keep thing interesting. :)
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