The door is locked it starts,
You sit and wonder,
it grows,
Nagging,
what has been left?
Things you number.
Should you return
to look again?
Troubled
There is no dismissal.
Eating away at you.
Uncomfortable as travels prolong.
Restless,
you are far from that point.
As you draw near you forget.
You have arrived,
but it's too late.
You forgot your toothbrush.
You should have listened
to that bothered feeling,
turned before time so quickly went
and left him long ago.
***
5 comments:
Somtimes it's best to listen to that nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach. I find it often helps more than it hinders.
Alas, you have gone back to your roots and written about the true dilemmas of human nature. I have not viewed your work since your "release" poem but now I know you are capable of taking constructive criticism so I shall prevail.
I feel that this poem reflects the conscious feeling that we all have in life when dealing with a hindering relationship or even when dealing with a destructive parent at a young age, a father in the narrator�s case. The relationship can have so many things right about it, but deep down you may know it is not going to last...despite truly wanting it too. I am unsure if this poem is about abuse (verbal or otherwise) but I am pretty sure that it is implied but never really stated. Which of course, is the ideal form of unique and interesting poetry...keeping your reader guessing.
Looking forward to reading more of your truly fascinating work. And, also looking forward to your comments about my critiquing as I felt genuine happiness during your last piece I can now be more open.
Keep up the amazing work.
Sincerely, A Lover of Canadian Poetry.
Your criticism is almost dead on, except the narrator is not dealing with a destructive parent but suspicions of an unfaithful lover. Perhaps suspicion is too strong a word, it's more like a nagging feeling. Everything seems perfect but there is an uneasy feeling and you can't seem to figure out what is causing the uneasiness within the seemingly perfect relationship. As for the abuse, lets just say that sometimes we choose to remain blind to to such things if abused by someone we care about.
Keep up the great criticisms!
I was also curious to know why it is you think i'm a Canadian Poet?
I see, so I was correct in assuming the poem was dealing with that of a suspicion regarding an unfaithful lover. Superb!
And as far as the Canadian Poetry goes, that was simply a comment regarding my personal preference of poetic styles.
However, in reviewing your older poetry it states a reference to St. John's which I believe is the capital of Newfoundland.
Therefore, one can assume that you have either once lived in this city or have visited this enchanting place during your summer vacation.
Keep up the excellent work, you really are quite talented.
Sincerely, A Lover of Canadian Poetry
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