She did not move
her frail limbs,
as the flies buzzed.
They seemed to wait
silently she pleaded,
only with her eyes.
They bulged with hunger,
extending past the physical,
She wanted.
Trying to pester her in to submission,
So they could feast.
She will not.
She will never know our currency,
her frail limbs,
as the flies buzzed.
They seemed to wait
silently she pleaded,
only with her eyes.
They bulged with hunger,
extending past the physical,
She wanted.
Trying to pester her in to submission,
So they could feast.
She will not.
No one understands
She walks on water,
when She lives another day.
Why does no one move the world for her,
Why does no one save her,
Why does no one cry for her?
when She lives another day.
Why does no one move the world for her,
Why does no one save her,
Why does no one cry for her?
She will never know our currency,
never know a filling satisfaction
never taste a fine wine.
never taste a fine wine.
Human, She could know love
but
She cannot even see the beauty in life,
Because no one cries.
She cannot even see the beauty in life,
Because no one cries.
3 comments:
'Because no one cries' is, on the surface, about hunger and the starving of the world. On another level it is about what we as human beings do to stop such atrocities, whether it be hunger, genocide, or even abuse. Some of us donate a dollar here or there, but do we see where it goes, should that really make us feel better about ourselves?
I need some criticisms about this poems. Part of me feels it could use another edit, but I would like to know where the week spots are, structurally, are there any parts that cause any bit of confusion?
Much appreciated!
Seeing as variety is the spice of...so on and so forth. I believe this poem is okay but you are right to assume it needs a bit more editing. I am busy teaching for the rest of the week but I will have a look at this over the weekend and see what could be improved. But, as always, what I will suggest is simply my opinion so please do not get offended with anything I may suggest regarding the revisions.
True Lover of Eastern Canada
Rarely do i get offended about criticisms unless they are a blatant attack on my person. So criticize away!
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